The Amazing Toothpaste Disease!
by Invader Cat
Summary: When Zim inhales the deadly minty odor of 55 year old toothpaste, just like inhaling pepper, he sneezes a lot. However everytime he sneezes on someone they turn into an animal!


Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. He belongs to Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
One day at skool, Ms. Bitters was teaching her doomed, pathetic students about doomed pathetic things, such as toothpaste, alarm clocks and assorted crafts. Zim was listening intently while all the human children were bored stiff.  
  
"Okay who would like to observe the minty freshness of this doomed tube of doomed toothpaste?" Ms. Bitters asked as she pointed to a very old tube of toothpaste. It was never opened before, but it looks like Ms. Bitters picked this day out of all other days to finally open the tooth care product.  
  
After she asked, nothing happened. Everyone just looked on, as if nothing was said at all in the first place. Well, not everyone. Zim jumped on top of his desk and waved his hand in the air frantically. "ME! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!" said Zim.  
  
"Hmmmmm... Let's see..." Ms. Bitters muttered slowly despite the fact that Zim was doing the "Pick Me!" dance on his desk. "Zim," she chose.  
  
Zim walked up to the front of the room and Ms. Bitters handed him the old toothpaste. She told him to open it and inhale the toothpaste deeply. So Zim did as he was told, not knowing the horrible consequences. He opened the tube and inhaled it. "Whoa....." Zim said. "Interesting... Whoa...... Aa........... CHOOOO!!!" Zim sneezed all over a classmate and he immediately changed into a cow!  
  
"Moooooooo? Mooo!!!!!!! Moooo!!!! Moooooooo moo moo!!!!!!!" shouted the cow child.  
  
All the students stared in fear at what just happened. The poor cow began to cry with "moo-ful" sobs.  
  
"No ordinary ihuman/i sickness could have done that. That proves Zim is an alien!" Dib shouted.  
  
"Nonsense, Dib. That toothpaste hasn't been opened in 55 years. I wouldn't be surprised if something even worse happened from exposure to that doomed paste." declared Ms. Bitters.  
  
Zim sneezed again, this time on a girl and she turned into a vulture.  
  
"Cawwww... Cawwww!" she cawed.  
  
"See? There he goes again! He's an alien! An alien!" Dib once again tried to convince everyone.  
  
"I am a normal human worm baby just like you... well... NOT just like you. I don't have a humongous head and large eyeglasses."  
  
"My head is NOT big!"  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"No it's not!"  
  
"I, Zim, says your head is big and whatever I say is correct!!!"  
  
Dib turned around in his seat, folded his arms in front of him and pouted. "I don't have a big head."  
  
Zim was sniffling all the rest of the day and every once in a while he would sneeze and an unsuspecting classmate would turn into an animal. At the end of the day, there was a cow, a vulture, an ostrich, an eel, a sloth, a duck and a gorilla.  
  
When class was dismissed to go home, Zim thought to himself as he was walking home. "What in the name of the Tallests has gone wrong with me? One minute I'm in perfect health and the next, I'm sniffing 55 year old toothpaste and sneezing people into earth beasts! Oh what next?!"  
  
Just then Dib spoke up. "Hiya iZim/i! You're not turning ime/i into any animal!"  
  
"Go away, Dirty-Dib-Human..." Zim sighed. "I'm... *sniffle*... I'm... Achoooo!!!" Zim sneezed all over Gaz.  
  
"Zim... KEEP YOUR FLEMY MUCUS SOMEWHERE ELSE! NOT ON ME!" Gaz shouted at Zim, and then she changed into a camel.  
  
"Zim! You changed my sister into a... a camel!" Dib accused, frightfully.  
  
"I can see that, stupid earth human!" Zim struck back at Dib.  
  
Gaz began chewing from side to side, the way normal camels do, then she spat a large wad of spit onto Zim's face and walked away as if nothing happened.  
  
"Aahhhhh!!!!!!" Zim's skin began burning from the spit. (which is water. duh!)  
  
"See ya later, Zim!" sneered Dib and he ran to catch up with the Gaz the camel.  
-*************************************************************************************-  
  
Will Zim ever get cured? What will Dib do with a camel for a sister? And if Zim sneezes on Dib, what kind of animal will he turn into? Well how are you supposed to know? I haven't posted the rest of the story yet! 


End file.
